If you’ve just lost your loved one, you’re likely overwhelmed, both with emotions and grief and with not knowing how to cope with what you’re feeling. The best thing you can do first is give yourself grace.

Be gentle with yourself and others affected by this loss as you each come to terms with the loss and begin to handle your grief. Since emotional healing is not a one-size-fits-all process, it’s best to understand that you will have both good and bad days as you adjust to life without your loved one, and that this is both acceptable and expected.

When you are ready, reach out for support. But before you do, know that doing things as simple as maintaining conversations with others, especially those not affected, can be emotionally draining after such a loss. Give yourself time to adjust, and focus solely on your most bare, basic needs until you are ready to handle more.

Most importantly, confront your grief, find ways to express it, and find healthy outlets for managing it. When the time is right and as you regain your emotional strength, you may be ready to pursue justice, deal with life decisions, and take on your own life goals again. Until that time, find ways to honor your loved one by taking care of yourself, those closest to you, and allowing yourself the space and resources necessary to heal.